Competitive Mum...

Having taken part in the ladies race at my daughter's sport's day last week, it became apparent that I am a mite competitive after I found myself saying:-

" I came a respectable second. I didn't like to say, but some of the mum's were a little sharp of the starting line if you know what I mean...?'

AAAARGH, somebody shoot me!

Then I thought this is great fodder for a character. It may have been done before elsewhere e.g. Goodness Gracious Me [Asian Mom], but it has never been done our way! So come on ladies, get scribing your experiences of one-up 'mom' ship, whether yours or others:-

Kiddies parties
School uniforms
School catchment area
Showing off re your offspring
Exam results
Kids hobbies
Even kids names [Claire I recall you hearing a kid called 'Versace'?! Though how you would then be proud of this I am not quite sure....]

Happy memories!

Vivxx

Dogs and Glasses...and more uses for dogs.

After reading another faux pas by HRH Pip aka Mr Regina, "..there should be eating dogs for anorexics..." I thought, what about:
Excercise dogs for couch potatoes.
Tall dogs for small people.
Educated dogs for dummies.
Rich dogs for the poor.
Outgoing dogs for the shy.
P.C. dogs for the tactless.
Work dogs for the idle.
Funny dogs for the serious.
Liberal minded dogs for homopobes, xenophobes and racists.

anf finally....courtesy of the wonderful John Hegley. Love poem for dogs:
I saw you in the park
and i wanted to be your friend
i tunnelled my snout
up your non-barking end.

(add your own dogs)